Here's a bit of speculation from conversation with a friend today. She's a bit younger than me, but is experiencing much of the same stuff I did earlier in life - I like to be with people, and I have a great time when I am. However, I am terrible at initiating any of that contact. What's worse is that without that contact, I get paranoid that friends are abandoning me. It's a very vicious degenerative loop. I've tried pretty hard lately to get better at it, and it's getting easier, but still awkward. I find it interesting that the capability to initiate social contact is definitely distinct from ability to interact with others, and I'm curious how many other people have issues initiating like I do.
social development
05 Sep 2007
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Crafts!
So I've spent the summer volunteering 5 hours per week at the UC Davis Craft Center. It has probably been the most important find here in Davis for me. It's a perfect escape from lab when things get absolutely ridiculously boring or stupid, as they often do. Check out some of the cool stuff I've made so far:
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Bitterness
It's such a hard thing to let go. I retain so many situations in memory, with such great acrimony and some intent for revenge in most cases. It can be so easily blamed on human nature - self preservation and all that. Nevertheless, I feel both compelled to overcome that nature, and yet completely overwhelmed by it.